When My Best Isn't Enough

As many of you may have noticed--because people have been noticing all my life--my hair is hardly the typical Apostolic length.  Allow me to begin by clarifying that I've never cut nor trimmed my locks before in my entire life.

In fact, the length of my hair is genetic.  There are certain families that cannot grow hair much beyond the middle of their back as their bodies do not produce strong enough strands to withstand the onslaught of daily living.

I remember hating my hair as a teenager.  Many were the times that some other teen--and sometimes even an adult--would approach me, asking if I had cut my hair.  I was always so embarrassed that it wouldn't grow much longer than my shoulder blades.  For a couple years during high school, I seldom wore it down.  I had learned a few techniques for hiding the length of the my hair in a french twist where the cascading curls were actually taken from the crown of my head.

I didn't want to bring a reproach upon my father's ministry or to shame God.  Eventually, however, I found that it's not about what everyone around you thinks.  It's about being obedient to God.

If anything, my inability to grow long hair made me more understanding of others' flaws; I think twice before quickly assuming they are in 'transgression' just because what I see doesn't measure up to my expectations.  Sometimes, there are genetic difficulties ... or even blessings that we are unaware of.

For instance, I also do not wear make-up but my mother suggested recently that I remove one of my profile pictures because my eyelashes looked too dark.  She said, "With your blonde hair, no one will believe that's not make-up!" 

Of course, if you know anything about me, you know that my father has--or shall we say had--jet black hair.  I was, therefore, born with that same hair color.  During my late childhood, my hair turned lighter and lighter like my mother's; my eyebrows and eyelashes remained black, however.

I feel pretty fortunate to have such a combination but, once again, sometimes it leads to disturbing questions.

Still A Quandary

Recently, I have changed careers--all glory to God!  My previous position yeilded quite a bit of harrassment and an immense amount of pressure.  Often, I couldn't keep the tears from overflowing my cheeks as I made dinner and my husband would just stand aside, not sure how to help.

This past November, my beloved grandfather passed away.  November and December were exhausting...overwhelming.  I was daily fearful for my job and the death seemed to push my family members and me over the top.  So much was happening at once.

In response, my hair, which I had coaxed to almost reach my waist for the first time in my life, began falling out in handfuls.  A couple weekends ago, my husband was talking to me while I combed my hair when another section simply came out in the brush.  I just looked at him and began sobbing.

Although I am having blood tests taken to test my thyroid and check for anemia, my doctor has assured me that she believes the sudden hair loss to be due to the incredible amount of stress I have been under. 

The frustrating part?  I'm stressed about being stressed enough to lose my hair!  Unfortunately, it is also breaking off like it's suddenly brittle and yellowing blades of grass.  Not only can you see through it but it has broken off to shoulder length, roughly resembling the lovely furr of a sheepdog!

What To Do When My Best Falls Apart

Of course, I realize that I am not the only woman who faces such frustration.  So many suffer from various maladies--many far more serious than losing hair--and they may not see how the sun will ever shine again.

As I walk through this trial, I just want to encourage any of you facing similar circumstances that, first, God does not look on the outside but rather looks on the heart.

He knows when you've given everything you have and find yourself empty, unable to meet the obligations facing you...and He will make up the difference.  Just like he multiplied the oil for the widow whose sons were threatened with slavery, He can multiply the efforts you've made.  Believe me...or rather, believe God...it will be enough!

Second, no matter how far down you fall...even when you do make mistakes and fail...God is there to catch you if you'll let Him.  Deuteronomy 33:27 says, "The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."  Beneath all the failures...beneath rock bottom...beneath it all...His arms are waiting to catch you!

And finally, God knows where you are.  In Job 23:10, even Job in all of his trials could say, "But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold."  He has never lost sight of you or lost touch with what you're going through.  God has His eye...and His hand on you!

Just steer your eyes away from what you think everyone else is thinking of you...and keep it simple.  Keep it just between you and God.

It's Not About Them Anyway

Although I am not Catholic, I love this poem attributed to Mother Teresa:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
(It was never between you and them anyway.)

I seldom share trials I am currently facing, but for some reason, I felt this may be needed today.  I hope you enjoy this song that has given me solace so much lately.  God bless...

Setting a Superior Table

Wal-Mart or Ol' What's His Name?

Has anyone else had one of those weeks where the demands at work, home, school, everywhere have been non-stop?  If you live in the United States, my guess is that you likely have!  I used to collect old reruns of series gone by, such as the Dick Van Dyke Show. 

Comparatively, we have many more wonderful conveniences but, unless the sitcom is stretching the truth a great deal more than I realize, we have much less time than our grandmothers.

This, of course, leads to our attempting to expedite household tasks.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I would love to wiggle my nose like Samantha on Bewitched and see the dishes in the sink disappear!  But, recently, I’ve been noticing how impersonal our world has become with all this rushing around. 

Fifty years ago, women knew the grocer by name; they knew the family of the butcher down the street and…she knew that the food she was feeding her family was fresh.  Indeed, there were some foods that could only be acquired seasonally, but how much riper would an organic, in-season strawberry taste than one forced to produce through hormones and harbored through pesticides?

I recently heard a radio talk show host telling that several illnesses had been indirectly linked to the aerial spraying of pesticides on crops.  While this is indeed unnerving, I have to wonder just what we’re putting into our mouths when we shop this type of produce.  Just what are we feeding our children?

Recently, I’ve been experimenting with a new concept on my grocery shopping days.  First, I settle in my mind that it is my day for relaxation and to enjoy planning my family’s meals for the next week or two.  I take my time, stopping for coffee at a quiet cafe or Barnes and Noble, smelling and hand-selecting the produce at open markets, and taking the time to talk to the butcher, the stocker, and even the checkout person at a locally owned grocery store.  Although the price of buying strictly organic is prohibitive, I acquire what I can of fresh vegetables, fruits, and meats as the budget allows.

Maybe someday we’ll discover that all the hormones were harmless after all, but in the meantime, I enjoy knowing that the dinners I fix my husband are safe, clean, and fresh…and that I’m building ties with the people in my community rather than stuffing the pockets of some grocery magnate!

Roast and Roast Burritos!

The Scoop!  As you know, marriage can bring some great things into your life...namely, the person you married!  But, if you're like me, you are also blessed with the sweetest, most awesome in-laws in the world...and all the great little things they can teach you!

They all seem to have this 'hospitality' thing perfected! 

Recently, my husband and I visited my mother-in-law.  She seems to always sense when I've been under a lot of pressure at work because she'll treat us to something special that makes our visit so nice!  Last time, it was a completely new line of hot teas...which I cannot resist!  The time before, she treated us to a roast dinner and then a new twist on the leftovers that my husband and I have fallen in love with!

Making a quick stop at Rosa's Cafe, she picked up hot queso, quacamole, and tortillas so we could make roast/brisket burritos!  Now, I make roast just so we can get to the leftovers!  It is sooo good!

But, if you need a few pointers on the roast itself, here it goes!

Ingredients: 

• one 3 lb. roast (thawed)
• 8 red potatos (diced in large pieces)
• 1 yellow onion (diced in large pieces)
• 8 large carrots (diced in, you guessed it, large pieces)
• 2 cups of water
• Salt and Pepper
• 2 Tbs Celery Seed
• 2 Tbs Steak Seasoning
• 1/2 Cup Flour

Directions:

1. Combine 2 cups water, yellow onion, carrots, roast,potatos, and a hardy helping of salt and pepper into the crockpot.  You can either set it on high for 4 hours or on low for 6-7 hours.
2. To make gravy, pour the juice from the cooked roast into a saucepan and bring it to a boil.
3. In a separate bowl, mix warm water with 1/2 cup flour until smooth.
4. Add celery seed, steak seasoning, salt, and pepper to the mix.
5. Slowly begin to pour this mixture into the saucepan, stirring continually.
6. After it is all added, lower the heat settings on your stove to simmer, continuing to stir the gravy.
7. Serve!

Given To...

I’ve been thinking about the upcoming season of giving that will soon be upon us. Indeed, the fall and winter months are designed to give us turkey, a heart of thanksgiving, Christmas spirit, gifts, and time with friends and family. When you are heavily involved in ministry and also a key player on the work scene, however, these special times can also give you migraines, indigestion, and more ‘to do’s’ than you know what ‘to do’ with!

Recently, a passage of scripture struck me as a bit funny. We always assume that we are given things. But scripture talks about things we should be ‘given to.’ I must have been rather tired because I envisioned myself wrapped in a box with only my hands, feet, and head sticking out, wrapped in shiny Christmas paper with a huge, rather ridiculous bow on top!

Indeed, what would someone be getting if I was ‘given to’ them as a gift? This week they might quickly line up in the returns department with this ‘gift!’ Thanks to a sick relative, a rather sticky situation at work, a migraine, and not enough hours of sleep, I have been a walking whine factory! And I don’t mean wine and cheese, if you please!

‘Given to’ in this sense does not indicate that you are handed to someone neatly wrapped, however! To be given to something is to be addicted to it. Essentially, it means to be devoted without restraint. Wow! What a concept!

As I studied this particular phrase, I found more do not’s than do’s!

For instance, we are not to be given to:
• Appetite, be it for food, wealth, or material possessions. Essentially, we should not live our lives to please our flesh’s selfish whims! Proverbs 23:2
• We are not to be given to change or even associate with those who are. As God said, “I am the Lord and I change not.” We must hold onto the old paths of truth, remaining unswayed by modern fads and fashions! Proverbs 24:21 and Malachi 3:6
• Isaiah admonished that we are not to be addicted to pleasures, living carelessly in Isaiah 47:8 while Jeremiah cautioned against being covetous because it makes you deal falsely with your brother. We are to have sincere and honest intentions; we can’t do that when we are trying to defraud our neighbor! Jeremiah 6:13, 8:10
• In the New Testament, the list continued: Paul, writing to Timothy, warned that we are not to be given to wine, greed of dirty money, or gossip (1 Timothy 3:3, 8). Consider again the definition of being ‘given to’ a thing.
• Evidently, there were people then—and still are today—who are addicted to food, wealth, having their own way, being a free spirit, changing the gospel to fit their whims, envying the possessions of others, liquor, and gossip!

How sad…how empty their lives must be.

For one’s life to revolve around gossip; somehow I envision an embittered, old woman who was never able to be satisfied in her own life so she finds solace and fulfillment in destroying the lives of others through her tongue. What an addiction!

And what about being addicted to money, wealth, and covetousness? What kind of life do you truly have if you are addicted to insatiable appetite…unable to be filled, to be whole, to feel complete without constantly wanting more!

Interestingly, God provides the DO in the equation as well as the DON’Ts!

Romans 12:13 calls us to be “given to hospitality.”

Likewise, 1 Timothy 3:2 admonishes those who pastor that they are to be “blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach.”

Let’s break it down.

To be given to hospitality means to be addicted to or to be devoted without restraint to:
• Kindness, receptiveness
• Opening yourself, your home, your vehicle, and your life to others
• And Having a welcoming disposition


And, we find, that if we will be given to the things God prescribes that we will have no need for the addictions we just listed. In fact, giving in itself is satisfying.

You don’t have to have to most beautiful and expensive home when you’re busy making it comfortable for a house full of guests. What good would priceless vases and fragile antiques do in a crowd full of friends?

You don’t need to fill your hours and your emptiness with food or wine when you have opened your arms to those in need. Instantly, you have purpose, meaning, and friendship! Comfort food is hardly needed when we are given to loving people!

You don’t need to be addicted to wealth because when you give to others, they will, likewise, be there for you when you are in need. And…God, who sees all, will honor you openly even when your hospitality is given in secret. He will supply your every need!

You’ve no need for gossip to fill your hours or earn listening ears when you work toward bettering others’ lives by giving yourself. You no longer sit on the sidelines, looking on at those who are working in the church. You are the mover and shaker yourself, winning souls by your obvious love and care for them!

So what kind of gift would you make? Are you a friend whose kitchen is always open for a warm and compassionate chat, whether dishes are stacked to the ceiling or not? Are you the sister who can pinch hit in just about any situation because people and their problems matter to you?

Is your home the one that people rush to for Bible study because they know they’ll be greeted with munchies and good coffee—even if it can’t be homemade due to your busy schedule? Are you the one who enters the church house to a swarm of hugs, returns from all of those you’ve given?

In short…

Are you given to hospitality?

Noah's Ark Nursery

The term 'hospitality' is often associated with how we treat those outside our immediate family, but have you ever considered that the Scriptures do not differentiate between insiders and outsiders?  We are to be just as hospitable to our families as we are to visitors, yet we often fail to make them as comfortable.

My husband recently preached for a pastor in a neighboring city.  I had always noticed how meek and kind the pastor's two older children were; watching the pastor's wife with their youngest daughter, I learned how they came by such traits.

As many two-year-olds do, the little tyke was getting a bit restless during the service.  Rather than scolding the little one, the mother handed her toy after toy.  At one point, the girl struck a doll against the chair.  In response to which the mother gingerly picked up the doll and kissed it, saying "No, we love our dolls."  I began to notice that everything was about love.  Her husband even mentioned that during one trying day, he overheard his wife say, "I wouldn't give you away for all the riches on earth but you're getting on my nerves." 

So many times, we say things we don't mean.  How often have we prefaced our frustration with a value statement to show that our children are irreplaceable?  I only hope I can give such love to my children as this mother does; it seems to have impacted the entire nature of her two older children!

Hospitality for the Family

With this in mind, I determined in my heart to afford such love not only to my children but to my husband as well.  Our families need to hear that they are loved.  They also need to feel that they are valued by how we prepare for their arrival!

For this reason, I decided that even my child's nursery should be pretty special...but how can you create something special for the newest member of the family without offending the many people who give such random gifts at such times?

The Solution!

Have you ever had someone purchase a gift for you–whether it be for your wedding or birthday or house warming–that just didn’t match your style?  Well, I think I’ve happened upon the best preparation for that eventuality once we have little ones!

As you might guess, stuffed animals are one of the most often purchased gifts for baby showers.  Why not design a nursery with this in mind?  There are several themes that would be darling, such as a circus motif, a zoo, or my favorite, Noah’s Ark!

With the right background, the possibilities are endless!

One of the most refreshing, calming colors is mint green; of course, you can find countless shades of this pale green at your local Lowe’s!  I have used this color in my laundry room and have since decided to leave the door open since it looks so nice!

In designing the room, the wall is the largest object.  To set up our contrast, we now want to focus our attention on the second largest object–the furniture!  The two strongest colors would naturally be black and white.  The black and green contrast was recently featured in an article about Tori Spelling’s nursery. 

The black lends a trendy air to the room; to view more celebrity nurseries, visit the Material Girls Blog.  For the theme of noah’s ark, you might also utilize a deeply varnished mocha brown, such as this ensemble at Amazon.com.

For the Noah’s Ark nursery theme, my choice of furniture would be ivory or white.  Check out these fabulous ideas for ark decor!

Where to find these items?

* For the Crib, visit Babies R’ Us!

** For the Stuffed Animal Net, visit Amazon!

*** For the Wall Mural Pattern for your Walls, visit Kohl’s!

**** For the Jessica Breedlove Noah’s Ark Valance Set, visit Amazon!

***** For the adorable vertical Noah’s Ark Photo Frame, visit Christianbook.com!

While this should certainly get you started, I have something special for our quilters and scrapbookers from Christine Creations!  The following designs would make beautiful quilts or wall hangers!

For those super-adventurous mommies, try this for a little girl’s Noah’s Ark Room!!!

Happy Designing!

The Gentleman's Study

Recently, my pastor asked me to assist in creating a Guest Study for visiting ministers.  We, of course, would like to outfit the study with a desk and bookshelves full of references as well as a few recliners and lamps for comfort.  The objective is to provide missionaries on deputation and travel-weary evangelists a nice place to study and relax while they are with us.

As the Shunamite woman created a room for the Prophet Elisha, we want to make a special place for those who have given their lives to the ministry.  Of course, such hospitality can be rendered even without additional rooms; hospitality is truly a spirit of giving!

For this project, however, there are several elements that one must consider when creating a Study for visiting as well as resident ministers...or spouses for that matter!

The important thing to keep in mind when decorating a study, home library, or home office is, of course, creating a functional work area free from excess distractions.  This doesn’t mean, however, that the room must be devoid of style and personal taste!

 Take, for instance, a man’s office.  Nothing says it needs to look like a cubicle!  In fact, studies have shown that grays and whites tend to cause headaches within business settings than do earth tones.  It is far better that you create a warm room in which you can feel comfortable.

 Consider the following elements when designing your study:

1. It should be welcoming.  Studies show that humans do what they enjoy.  An office that is unwelcoming or unable to be enjoyed will simply not be used.

2. It should be functional.  Always consider the tools needed in the office.  Will the user need a computer, laptop, printer?  These shouldn’t have to be set up each time the office is used but should be located in a sensible place that fits the room decor.

3. An office needs to be clean.  Of course, we all know about dusting and vacuuming, but what about the clutter that naturally tends to fill an office? 

Make certain that cords are tucked out of sight; a simple remedy is the twisty ties used with trash can liners or, even better, zip ties.  Coil any excess cord and secure, tucking it out of sight. 

Also, another tidy technique is double framing.  Rather than having multiple smaller frames that fill a particular wall space, consider framing a couple within a larger frame for emphasis and order!

4. Provide for organization.  The worst killer of time is a messy office.  Once you have that creative spark, that innovative idea, the easiest way to kill your inspiration is being unable to locate a pen, paper, or the project itself! 

Before you ever begin a project in your office, provide plenty of filing space.  To lend a designer touch, you can always purchase baskets or canvass bins to serve as file drawers atop your shelves.  I mean, let’s be honest, who would want a dinged up metal filing cabinet in their home?  Ultimately, the room should be free from distractions that would detract from study, be it messiness, lack of organization, or a television.

5. Study and make use of lighting techniques that fit the purpose of the room.  For my husband’s office, I considered the many uses of the room.  First, he likes to tie his tie each morningin his office while he prays.  To facilitate this little ritual, I’ve installed a mounted picture light just above the mirror so that he can see his appearance more easily with its direct light. 

Similarly, I’ve provided an elegant but bright enough lamp on the desk to highlight his notes as he studies his sermons.  Not all lighting is direct, however.  My husband often likes to retreat to his office just to read; for this purpose, I found a lamp stand to set beside a comfortable recliner in a corner of the room apart from the more industry-oriented desk.  This lighting is strong enough to facilitate his reading but soft enough to provide relaxation and comfort as he unwinds.

6. This brings us to yet another consideration.  Make the room warm and comfortable.  No one enjoys stooping over their desk because the chair is too tall; make certain that the chair matches the height of the desk for the person who will be using the office.  Furthermore, give the room a cozy feel with a recliner in one solitary corner!  In this area, don’t be a style slave.  It’s important that the chair be comfortable and, you guessed it, functional!  White is hardly the color for a recliner in which a man desires to sip his coffee and read.  He’ll be scared to death!  Making the room warm can be as simple as choosing warm colors and a blend of complimenting, soft fabrics. 

You’ll notice that this particular office is a combination of tan, deep brown, and black.  Just for a touch of pizzazz, I threw in a throw pillow (yes, that was a terrible pun, I know!) in shocking turqouise!  In short, it’s not an office at the bank or the hospital so don’t make it look like one!

7. Finally, make the office your own by infusing it with elements of your personal style!  As for my husband, he has a passion for vintage items and the forefathers of our faith.  To make this study truly his own, I designed a picture wall of his ‘heroes of the faith’ surrounding a rugged cross.  The time period of these heroes mirrors the time period of the antique gentleman’s butler near the entry.  I even found an antique radio from the early 1930s that still plays; he listens to the old jazz station on it every time he’s in his office!

Teriyaki Steak Stir-fry

The Scoop!  Thanks to the hectic pace of our modern world, some of the truly best recipes are the ones with a few shortcuts thrown in!  As my husband and I run between our secular jobs, our College and Career group, the daughter work, Bible studies, and various other church events, I always make our meals together a priority.

Dinner is a time for people to slow down and spend time in one another's company.  It's important if you hope to maintain a healthy marriage and family life.  That being said, I not only like to prepare meals that show my husband that he is special, but I don't want to spend our entire dinner time in the kitchen!  The point is to spend time with him! 

This is one of those super simple recipes that allows me to be a kitchen diva but still a devoted, loving, and present wife!

Ingredients:

• 1 Cup or 1/2 Jar Kikkoman Teriyaki
• 1 Lb. Sirloin Steak (slender, cut into strips)
• 2 Tbs. Sesame Seeds
• 2 Tbs. Olive Oil
• 1 Bell Pepper (cut in strips)
• 1 Yellow Onion (cut in strips)
• Coarse Ground Black Pepper

Directions:

1. Saute the bellpepper and onion in the olive oil on medium-high heat until golden.
2. Add steak and 1/2 cup Kikkoman Teriyaki Sauce into skillet and cover until steak is cooked through.
3. Drain contents of skillet.
4. Replace skillet on burner on simmer and add 1/2 cup Kikkoman Teriyaki Sauce, a palmful of Coarse Ground Black Pepper, and 2 Tbs. Sesame Seeds.
5. Simmer for 3-4 minutes.

Suggestions:

• Serve over a bed of white rice.
• Serve with homemade Chicken Fried Rice and Fried Eggrolls (they have great ones at Wal-Mart!).
• Mix in with white rice, adding a little more Kikkoman Teriyaki Sauce to season the rice.



Enjoy a Happy, Full Family!



A Pinch of This and That...